Effective Ways to Cope with a Heartbreak

“What is love?” is such a deep question that poets, writers, painters all have spent an eternity trying to find an answer but to no avail. Is it the journey, the destination or everything in between? Is it just a facilitator for a good life or is it life’s purpose itself? Should true love happen only once or are we allowed to have multiple lovers at any point in time. These questions are older than time and even Adam and Eve wouldn’t have been able to answer them despite having only each other for love and companionship.

Love is a beautiful feeling where we look at the world with rose tinted glasses and everything is glossy and fluffy. But the flip side to this mushy love business is the ugly break-up and heartbreak which is even life threatening than a pandemic because the latter may someday have a vaccine but never for the former. A break-up could be one sided or mutual but it hurts like hell for both partners. Going from lovers to strangers who know all your deepest secrets and desires is a depressing emotion. It feels like the end of the world and you bombard yourself with negative feelings which hinder the process of acceptance and healing.

Our brain feels sorrow only for a few hours, rest is self inflicted. You’re allowed to grieve a dead relationship because you’re only human; but when that goes on for an indefinite period of time and destroys your sanity and puts you on a path of self destruction, you know you’ve got to take concrete steps to come back to your normal happy self.

Following are few steps which can help in Coping with a Break-up:

1.   If you don’t want to get wet in the rain, don’t venture out on a rainy day. In the same way, one can avoid getting into a relationship in order to avoid the breakup scenario. No love-no breakup. Easier said than done because man being a social animal will do without oxygen but not without love.

2.   Accept and move on. People going through a break up never take it seriously initially and always hope that in time, issues will get resolved and they’ll be together again. But sometimes the other person is done for good and has even moved on leaving you with the remnants of the past. Communicate well and enough times to clearly establish where both of you stand on the status of the relationship. Accept the end graciously and make way for healing and growth. Hoping for a miraculous patch up is a waste of time and a disservice to your creator who made you for greater things.

3.   Do not contact them or stalk them on social media. Give yourself and them time to heal and move on to better things. Being friends with an ex is a tricky matter and should be handled when some time has passed and you have healed from the pain.

4.   Grieve as you see fit. Some like to go out, socialize and take their mind off unpleasant memories. Some like to introspect and change habits which may have led to the break up. Your way is the right way excluding self harm of course. Treat yourself with empathy and not judgment.

5.  Do not jump into a rebound relationship to fill the loneliness and lack of self-worth. That would be the worst decision of your life and extremely unfair to the new person who would take you as their soul mate whereas you would be just distracting yourself. Just don’t do it!!

6.   If you think you can’t cope with this on your own, seek professional help. No shame in taking care of your mental health. It’s self care and is as important as your physical health.

Breakups suck but you won’t fully appreciate the rose without the thorns. A relationship gives a partner for life or a lesson for life. Both are a win if you’re optimistic enough. There is definitely someone out there who’s your perfect match. So before finding the right partner why don’t you try being the right partner yourself? Like begets like, right!

Conclusion:

1. Breakups suck but you won’t fully appreciate the rose without the thorns. A relationship gives a partner for life or a lesson for life. Both are a win if you’re optimistic enough.

2. Do not drown and give in to the negativity and distress created by heartbreaks as it might lead you to the road to Depression, Anxiety or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

3. Do not give-up on self-improvement and instead focus on becoming a positive person. There is definitely someone out there who’s your perfect match. So before finding the right partner why don’t you simply try being the right partner yourself? Like begets like, right!

How do you cope with a heartbreak? Please share in the comments.