I stay in a joint family and have dominating in-laws..esp. my mother in-law. She ensures that there is always a misunderstanding between me and my husband which leads to conflicts and after 19years of marriage also we are unable to live peacefully. There's always a issue on hand to manage... I tried talking to my husband but he refuses to understand and blindly does what ever his parents says. My father in-law also does everything asked by my mother in-law. There's a house help who constantly misbehaves with me and takes advantage of the situation to build in her importance. Whenever I ask the house help to behave her self as she even abuses me in front of guests at home....my mother in-law supports her and makes the whole family against me. I have a child 17 years old who doesn't respect me at all times, as has grown up watching other family members disrespecting me all the time. They never allowed me to be independent of working outside, driving etc and control my expenses. Crying has led to migraine.... I feel helpless...look forward to a miraculous advice. ?

6 Answer(s).
Last Updated: 17/09/2018 at 05:32PM
Top Rated Answers
Aug 27th, 2018 12:30PM

Srishti Narula

It must be very tough for you to go through all this. I would highly recommend working individually with a therapist/counsellor to help you deal with all these. They will understand your experiences, thoughts and feelings and help you through this situation in their best capacity. It is very likely that your physiological issues are due to the various stressors that are present in your life. However, coming onto here and seeking help is in itself a sign of strength from your end.
Sep 10th, 2018 12:57PM

Tiffany Bowen

My friend, you are in a tough situation. The only thing you can change here in your position is your attitude. Your husband is wrong for listening to his mother. His wife should come first. And your mother in law is manipulative, controlling those around her because they allow her to have this control. For your situation to change immediately, you need to show that you are not like the others, to be controlled be her. You need to speak to your husband and let him know what he is doing is wrong. Your marriage should be independent of your relatives. You have to stand up for yourself, even if it means getting a job outside the home. You need to set boundaries even if your husband doesn't do it. When you begin to stand up for yourself, your child would begin to respect you. Therapy would help you sort out your emotions and strategize your action plan, but for your situation to change, you have to take action. P.S: Crying never solved any problem. You may cry for a little while because of the emotions but begin to plan what action you would take to see results.
Aug 25th, 2018 03:30AM

Anam Mukaddam

Taking tension is going to lead to health issues which you need to take care of. It's very important for you stay strong at times like this. Living in a house full of conflicts it's prominent that you will end up with some kind of health issues. Crying has never been a solution to the problem. You might have to speak it all out to some counselor or a close friend, that will help you feel better if you open up and speak about it. Life is full of miracles but they happen only in rare situations, so never loose hope.
Aug 28th, 2018 12:59PM

Naveen Mandhotra

I know it is very painful to be in this situation where people are not respecting you specially your Husband and your Son. I know this problem is big but EVERY LOCK HAS A KEY!
Sep 17th, 2018 05:32PM

Mrs. Hina Beg

Hi to you young lady, your life is ruling you, take a step forward and rule your life :) you are brave and also a compassionate person. Seek counselling and I am sure in couple of sessions you will have another story to say. Take care, be fit, raise your head and take good decisions for yourself. My wishes always there for you. Stay blessed and smile. Take care :D
Jun 06th, 2018 07:16PM

Gatsby

First coming to the problem of Migraine, it seems there is a cluster of contradictory thoughts running in your mind, which could be because of the unresolved issues or the stark difference between how you imagined your life and how it is turning out. So write a diary to understand your strengths and weaknesses and focus more on the positives even if there are fewer.