I have been in a relationship for the past 10 months and we were both in love but as for now I feel he doesn't love me any longer. I also think that he is having an extra affair. This is causing me so much of Anxiety and doubt. What to do? Please help! ?

1 Answer(s).
Last Updated: 23/05/2019 at 05:00PM
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May 23rd, 2019 05:00PM

Glenn Cajetan Nunes

We all want to be loved and cared for and when we do not get it in return - it “really hurts bad”. Only the one in pain - knows the hurt. BUT we need to understand that - we can love (that is our choice) but we cannot force someone else to love us (this is their choice). However much we would like to – we cannot hold someone (or anyone) in love and keep them with us. Love is not a binding power; it’s supposed to be a nurturing “space” of TRUST and LOVE in which one is free to be themselves – no judgment, only acceptance. If one partner decides to go – then let them go. YES it will hurt – but trying to hold on to someone who doesn’t love you (anymore) will hurt even more and that too like slow poison. I suggest - 1) Look where you are coming from – if you are insecure in love - you will demand proof of love and if you don’t get it - you will doubt, you will be anxious and in trauma. Solution – redefine your love – it’s a giving of trust, love and acceptance. 2) If unfortunately your partner no longer loves you or loves someone else – then let them go IN LOVE – blessing them in their life journey – “with love not anger”. WILL THIS BE PAINFUL? YES, but healing to your heart. There are many twists and turns in LIFE. Sometimes what seems terrible in the present moment – turns out to be a blessing in the future. Talk to a counselor – a heavy heart needs someone to talk to. When you feel better – you will be in a better position to take proper decisions.